april showers…oh, wait, it’s may…

Guys, I need to come clean about something:

I hate taking showers.

See what I did there? [insert winky face emoji here]

Most people look at me like I’m crazy when I say that, as it is a normal part of many people’s daily routines and they don’t even think twice about it. I know that many people need a shower to wake up or who can’t go to sleep without a thorough rinsing. I even know some people who shower at night and again in the morning. I understand all that. I just don’t subscribe to any of it, because:

1. I hate having wet hair and then having to blow dry said wet hair, which is a necessity for me. Air dried hair = no bueno. Not that I wash my hair every time I shower….oh, no no. Lately, I’ve been going 2 to 3 to mayyyyyybe 4 days in between washes. I’m sure my mother is cringing right now. Dry shampoo is my new BFF and I buy it in bulk. I also have an awesome rubber duckie shower cap to prevent any hairs from catching an errant spray of water.
2. I hate having to put on lotion (which unfortunately is another necessity- albeit a recent one – for me after a shower). Lotion makes me feel sticky and sweaty, even if I’m not sweating, and I HATE IT….especially when it’s hot outside. It always seems to take hours and hours to absorb and it makes putting on clothes and walking around very difficult.
3. I dislike hot water. It makes me nauseous and makes breathing hard for me. I do realize that showers don’t need to be hot…so, I take lukewarm showers in the winter and then end up freezing when I get out of the shower. This is really just a winter complaint. I take cold showers in the summer. Those are tolerable.
4. I find the whole process  of showering, in general, very tedious and I’d much rather get the extra sleep than get up early/stay up late to shower (or both- I went to bed at 8:15 the other night and didn’t get up until 7:20 am- I like my sleep).

Now, before you get totally grossed out and start to feel bad for everyone I ride the bus with- I obviously shower when it is called for! If I’ve worked out and am really sweaty (that happens like twice a year; let’s be honest), I will shower . If I’m physically dirty, I will shower. If I’ve gone to the beach and had to wear sunscreen and went into the ocean or a lake, I will shower. But, if all I did was sit at my desk all day…I’ll skip my shower the next morning.

I used to wonder if I actually was gross…and then my favorite news source, BuzzFeed, published this article. It made me feel so much better about myself- it’s actually good for my skin to not shower every day! And, obvi, I wash my face (twice daily!) and wear clean underwear every day…you know, when I’m actually wearing underwear…

Sometimes I get to Sunday night at the end of a lazy weekend and have to think long and hard about the last time I showered (Thursday morning) and decide if I should really shower before bed or if I should just let myself go and wait until Monday morning.

I’m really good at just letting myself go (written whilst shoveling peanut M&Ms into my face).

Song of the Day: Coming Clean by Hilary Duff. Yeah, I went there.