Tag Archives: awkward

The Bittersweetness of Looking Young

10 Jul

I am very fortunate to still look like I am in my early twenties. This has been something I have enjoyed immensely as I am almost certain any woman would. Normally, this is pretty fantastic especially when lately the number ’31’ gets stuck in my throat when people ask how old I am. However, recently, it has become an incredible pain in my ass.

I never minded getting carded when buying alcohol or even at rated R movies (which still happens by the way). It was something I had gotten used to: going to the store and showing my I.D. and having the cashier smiled and make a comment such as “Wow, I would have never guessed that.” I always thank them. It’s meant to be kind and as I mentioned, it never really bothered me. It’s never been an issue of someone not believing me; my I.D. has never been fake. It’s almost a reflex at this point to have that reaction so I go into auto pilot of a polite response and go on my way. It’s never affected me past taking a few extra seconds to get the bottle of wine or get into the bar.


                         Avril gets it.

It wasn’t until I turned 30 that I started to want to be treated as such. I want to be treated as an adult when I’m at my job, whatever it may be at the time. I want to be treated like I have knowledge, am educated and experienced. It sounds odd to say because EVERYONE should be treated like that but when others think you are younger, they treat you like you’re stupid. As if you’re going to burn the building down if they leave you alone for five minutes. I am sure I am guilty of it. Aging people by saying things like “Oh, you don’t get it, you’re too young.” Occasionally, that may be true and said properly, it isn’t insulting because hey, a younger individual may not know because they haven’t experienced something age appropriate like renting a car. However, most of the time, it comes out as a real shit thing to say. It’s belittling and makes one feel inadequate. As a kid, it wasn’t so bad because you’re a kid and you had to accept the fact you were younger. When you are 31 and everyone treats you like you’re 21, it’s harder to accept and brush off because you’ve been 21. You’ve been through the pain and torture of your twenties. I want my experience and the life I’ve lived to matter. It sounds dramatic when put that way but it’s what I’ve been feeling in the past few years.

When my husband and I were at Disney World a few years ago, we had “Happy Anniversary” pins on. We weren’t married yet but we were celebrating our dating anniversary. A kind cast member congratulated us but then took a second glance and asked us how long we had been married. We fibbed and just said how long we had been dating which was about four years. He commented that we must have gotten married when I was 12. We laughed it off but it stung a little. I knew I was going to married this man and I worried “Is this going to be our life? Where everyone thinks Lincoln has robbed the cradle?” What about when we have kids? Are people going to think I am the babysitter?


                        2011. I was 27.

We just moved to Vermont and applying for jobs, several places looked at me like my resume was a lie. They never said anything, but it was clear they were surprised by all my experience considering I appeared to be 22, MAYBE 23 years old. If I don’t wear makeup, it’s even worse. I am spoken to like I don’t understand simple tasks. My new job has a lot of moving parts but I picked them up fairly quickly and a lot of my fellow employees have been shocked like I shouldn’t be so on point yet or understand how Microsoft Office works because I’m far ‘too young’ to grasp the concept of working in a customer service setting. I have a coworker talks to me as though I am a kid. She didn’t understand how I could be married and asked once if I remembered what CDs were. Yes, lady, I remember when THE INTERNET BECAME AVAILABLE IN HOMES not to mention my Walkman so yeah, I remember CDs, you know, when they became a thing for the first time. If I hear her say, “Well, you kids these days…” one more time, I will slap her. Ok, maybe not but it’s getting a little ridiculous when she asks me if I know how to check a voicemail. And she can’t be more than 10-15 years old than me at the most.

At our grocery store with my parents a few weeks after we moved in, we got some wine. At Hannafords, they need a supervisor to come and check I.D.s which is totally understandable. This manager was taking a long time to arrive at our register and the cashier…was really weird. Just a weird dude, long story. My dad finally said “You know, we are her parents. She’s of age. Can we just buy it?” The supervisor finally arrived and made the same confused face when checking my I.D. everyone does. But also I was with three other people who clearly are over 21 so I’m not sure why the extreme precaution. It happens every time my husband and I go buy beer together. They still ask for my I.D. even if he’s the one buying it like he’s buying for me for my high school rager I plan on having when my parents are out of town. When I’m out with my family, they always ask for my I.D. and occasionally the server will ask for everyone else’s I think just so I don’t know they were specifically targeting me, assuming I was the youngest. Obviously I know they are asking for only me. I think I hang out with too many people who have beards. Beards equal age. My brother never gets carded and he’s three years younger. I should grow a beard.


                  Pulling. It. Off.

It may seem like a foolish thing to complain about but much like my past blog about being tiny, everyone has complaints that may seem controversial. There are women who look older than they are and I am certain they have a similar reaction when people age them. I accepted being carded every since I turned 21 but being treated like I don’t know what I am doing because I look like a kid has started to upset me. And the faces I get when I say how old I am sometimes aren’t pleasant surprise. It’s shock. Shock that isn’t masked in any way much like when I told people how much I weighed when they kept asking. It’s an odd feeling now that I’m older. For the first time, I want to be an adult.

The first week I was 30 I wasn’t carded. I was shocked and kept joking that now that I was 30, my streak was over and I finally looked my age. It was a welcomed change. Then it started creeping back. I started going new places, shopping new stores. It still just blows my mind that people think I am 21, ten years younger than I actually. Again, it is AWESOME in many ways. It’s great to feel good about my face. I joke I moisturize and that’s what gives me my youthful looks. It’s just good genetics truthfully. But when it interferes with my integrity, it hurts, it stings, it sucks.

I never want to grow up but sometimes, it’s nice to be treated like I am one when I am doing adult type things. I’m grateful I look young enough to still play a lot of my dream roles. I know a lot of actors play young way into their 30’s (hello, the entire cast of Dawson’s Creek).

Rachel McAdams was 26 when she made 'Mean Girls'

Rachel McAdams was 26 when she made ‘Mean Girls’

It’s a good feature to have. But when I’m applying for jobs outside my chosen field, when I’m working in an office or a restaurant, being treated like I don’t know what I am doing when clearly I do makes working difficult. It shuts down my confidence. It has made me realize that I need to pay attention how I speak to people that are younger. I’m probably not smarter than them. I may have more life experience in some ways but I’m not any better than they are. I shouldn’t be condescending. I shouldn’t mock them when they haven’t ever watched “Saved by the Bell” or think Leo DiCaprio is old and gross with his dad bod (they didn’t know the good days!) I should be polite and explain the wonders of what I know and listen to the wonders that they know because I still have to Google what half those abbreviations in text messages mean though I am fully on board with the Zac Efron train (he’s the new Leo!).


You’re killing me, bro.

Someday I will look my age. It’s inevitable. Or maybe not if I start using toner. I’m thankful, I’m #blessed, but I’m also fed up. This doesn’t mean I want wrinkles however so don’t go getting any ideas, Universe.

Just for funsies though…

Another Misadventure: Bethany vs. Tights, Part 2

1 Apr

I have a lot of patterned tights: black polka dots, black stripes, black criss-cross pattern, black and grey argyle, etc. I also have a lot of patterned skirts. Unfortunately, patterned tights and patterned skirts don’t always look the best together. All winter long, I’ve been relying on one pair of solid black tights to go with the flashier skirts. Those tights have seen the washing machine many a time over the past few months. I know it would have been easy to just go buy a few pairs of plain black tights, but every time I thought about it, I felt like I could make it to the end of winter. It seems like a silly thing to think when we had what felt like the longest, coldest, snowiest winter ever, but believing that spring and summer were just around the corner kept me positive.

This morning, I wanted to wear a super cute skirt that definitely calls for plain black tights. I pulled out my trusty companions, put them on, and realized they were looking a little run down- lots of lint and pills from too much wear. I decided to gently clean them up with one of those battery powered lint removers with the spinning blades- those things are SO. MUCH. FUN. Removing pills from sweaters with those devices is so satisfying, but SPOILER ALERT: don’t use them on tights.

My “do it gently” tactic didn’t work and I suddenly had a large hole on the ankle of my tights and no other black tights to wear! I guess I could have changed my outfit, but I really wanted to wear this skirt, so I had a genius idea: wear the tights on the bus, run to CVS, and buy some new ones to change into at work! Brilliant! But, I still had a rather large hole on my ankle and my commuter shoes wouldn’t cover that up. I was taught to never walk around with runs in your stockings!

Here is where I hit a new fashion low: I put black ankle socks on over my tights to cover the hole/hopefully prevent it from getting bigger on my walk…and then I put on black sneakers. Yes. Black sneakers over black ankle socks over black tights. It’s a look I would not recommend.

I made it to CVS just fine and got to the hosiery section. Side note: hosiery is a funny word. They usually have these “weatherless” tights that are thick enough to be tights but are slightly sheer and are super duper comfortable, but they were all out! I was going to settle for some “shaping” tights when I spotted a package that boasted a pair of something that could be worn as tights with the feet or as leggings with no feet. Well, I HAD to see what they were all about, so I grabbed those and headed to the register.

I got to work and, after telling my saga to a co-worker who suggested that an even better look would be the tights, socks, and my black heels, I popped into the bathroom to try out these legging tights. There were instructions on the inside of the packaging, which I of course ripped as I tried to free the tights from their wrappings. After I worked everything out, I pulled the tights on and put my feet into the “toe pockets” as instructed. Toe pockets! How cute! Anyway, these nifty things have a flap that fits over your foot and overlaps with another flap on the bottom of your foot, and you can pull them apart to roll up into leggings. Neat-o! I did have a slight problem, though: these things are suuuuuper long. I can pull them up around my rib cage. So, they’re currently rolled down to my waist (although they keep trying to unroll) and the roll is luckily hidden my my skirt’s waistband.

Now I have a cool pair of tights that are too big for me that I will never wear as leggings- but at least I know I have that option.

Also, changing your tights in a bathroom stall at work is super awkward.

Song of the Day: Undone- The Sweater Song by Weezer














Insert Clever Title Here

30 Jan

At what point in the year do you stop saying “Happy New Year”? I feel like it’s too late, but I’m saying it anyway since this is the first post of 2014. Happy New Year!

I have all these ideas bouncing around in my head to write about here on ITYWS (yes, we’re an acronym now!): my introversion and struggles with social anxiety, participating in pageants as a child, college shenanigans, thoughts on turning 30 in less than 2 months, etc., but today is going to be a post with TMI. Again. I like to over share.

One of my pet peeves that I’ve yet to mention here is really random. And awkward. And personal. Here goes:

It really bothers me when women wear underwear under tights or pantyhose. I realize that this is crazy. There’s no reason for it to bother me- another person’s underwear does not affect me or my life in any way and I usually have no way of even knowing if someone has underwear under tights. Typing this out actually makes me feel like a crazy person. This annoyance must stem from my days in dance lessons when people would wear underwear under tights under leotards. It’s not a good look.

I think my biggest issue is this: pantyhose and the majority of tights out there are designed to be worn in place of underwear. The fabric in the crotch-area (I shuddered as I typed that C-word. It’s my second least favorite C-word) is thicker than the nylon/spandex legs and is often cotton. Wearing underwear under pantyhose is like wearing two pairs of underwear. Also, if you’re then wearing dress pants or a skirt, you have THREE waistbands digging into your love handles, and no one wants that. That would be so uncomfortable! Ok, my rant is done.

Now, onto the TMI. I keep finding myself in situations where I should be wearing underwear and I’m not. When I went to the ER, I was wearing leggings as pajamas with no underwear.  Today, I’m wearing tights and I have a doctor’s appointment. It’s very uncomfortable when you’re led into the exam room, given one of those paper sheets, and told to strip down to your underwear to then have to say “I’m not wearing underwear”. I don’t know about you, but I always get flustered and feel the need to explain why. It’s like when you have to wear a hat because it’s -40 degrees outside or you get toothpaste on your shirt and don’t realize it until you get to work and you spend the rest of the day explaining your appearance: “My hair is usually much fluffier! It was the hat!”

I know medical professionals see a lot of stuff, and bodies aren’t really a big deal to them, but when you’re up on the exam table it’s nice to have something to help you maintain a semblance of decency- and also to not totally shock your doctor when he realizes you are butt naked under that sheet even though you were told you could keep your underwear on. I meant to throw some skivvies in my purse today so I’d be prepared when I changed into my gown at my appointment, but I was in a hurry and completely forgot. Guess I’ll be picking up some cheap undies at CVS on my lunch break!

Song of the Day: I’m Not Wearing Underwear Today from Avenue Q