Old?

8 Aug

Although I will never, ever call myself an adult, I sometimes feel like someone older than my 28 years is trapped in my body. Like, much older.  She took it over surprisingly quickly and makes me do and say things I would not have done or said even 3 years ago.  Sure, sometimes I still like to go out and kick up my heels and party with the best of ‘em- just as long as I have two days to recover after. Below is a list I’ve compiled as evidence of my oldness:

I oftentimes find myself using the phrases “kids these days” and “when I was a kid”- as in “Kids these days don’t have any sort of work ethic!” and “When I was a kid, we did all of our research in books at the library!” Now, mind you, I technically belong to the same generation (the Millenials, woo hoo!) as the kids about whom I complain (generally college students at the institution of higher learning at which I am employed or the scary high school kids who are sometimes on my bus in the morning), but I feel like the differences between these kids and me are astronomical. No, I cannot find a job for you. Yes, you are expected to show up to work on time and actually do work. No, leggings are not appropriate interview attire.  Gosh, kids these days!

I no longer like sugary cereals. Froot Loops, Lucky Charms, and Cap’n Crunch all used to be a staple of my diet (up until quite recently, actually).  I now find myself cringing at the thought of eating any of those cereals and the inevitable ripping up of the inside of my mouth and sugary film left on my teeth if I were to consume any of the above. I’ll stick to my Kashi Go Lean Crunch with skim milk, thank you very much.

I have an anxiety attack when someone invites me out on a weeknight without any warning. I need to be in bed by 10 pm in order for me to get enough sleep to function the next day. Staying up any later than that AND being expected to socialize requires preparation and a Sugar Free Red Bull. Last night, I got distracted by my current arts and crafts project and it was well past 10 by the time I crawled into bed. I’ve been yawning all day and almost fell asleep at my desk as a result. I think this is the only thing Rachel makes fun of me for (well, probably not the only thing…). She calls me an old lady and gets mad when I don’t return her 11 pm texts until the next day.

I no longer have any problem getting up at 6 am on a daily basis- probably because I go to sleep so gosh darn early. Even just earlier this year, I dreaded the idea of getting up “early”. However, once I started making a habit of it, it just became normal. Bonus: I get to work early when I get up early. Imagine that! It’s amazing.

Now, this is something I’ve actually always done, but not only does it make me feel old, it also makes me look old. Whenever I’m driving a car, I sit super duper close to the steering wheel and I sit up very straight. Now, in my defense, I do have ridiculously short legs…but not short enough to justify sitting that close to the wheel. Even my mother makes fun of how I drive. I’m just not comfortable driving any other way! I like to be alert and ready for action at all times. All the other drivers on the road are crazy people and I don’t trust any of them.

I do not understand any of the clothing that young girls are currently wearing. At all. I understand that fashion and trends change, but when is it ever OK to wear shorts so short that your butt cheeks hang out the bottom? Never. It’s never OK. Not even on Halloween when all women are given the green light to dress like a prostitute (I myself dressed up as a very slutty vampire for 8 years in a row). Anyway, I don’t know why these girls think they look good or why their parents let them out of the house, but it needs to stop. I should not be able to see your undergarments through your pants. Belly buttons should be covered. And, for heaven’s sake, NO ONE LOOKS GOOD IN WHITE LEGGINGS. No one. Plus, don’t they just get dirty?

I hate Twitter and I refuse to join and/or learn how to use it. Isn’t Facebook enough??? This may not so much be evidence of me getting older- it’s just further evidence that Twitter is stupid.

I’m sure everyone can recall a time when  a grandmother or other older relative told them to stand up straight. I feel like that’s a very stereotypical thing for older people to tell younger people. It’s along the same lines of grumpy old men yelling at kids to get off of their lawn. However, I’ve started telling MYSELF to stand up straight. I frequently find myself slouching and remind myself that good posture makes you appear more confident and that proper body alignment is just good for you overall. I have apparently become my own Great Aunt Gertrude. I don’t actually have a Great Aunt Gertrude, but Gertrude was the name of my first car, a 1995 Ford Taurus that my grandmother gave to me. So, not only did I look like an old lady driving my car, I was actually driving an old lady car.
Song of the Day: Bach’s Suite for Solo Cello No. 1 in G Minor, the Prelude, as performed by Yo-Yo Ma. This song has nothing to do with getting/feeling older, but I figured I’d play some classy music today to go along with my maturing personality 🙂

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