So, this happened…

21 Mar

Background: Douchebag is a guy I met last summer and went out with a few times. We had fun; he seemed really sweet, smart, interested, etc. He’s a student in the healthcare industry and was always “busy” studying for an exam, always had friends in town, always had some excuse as to why we couldn’t go out again- but he never failed to text message at least once every one or two weeks to see how I was, say we should hang out soon, blah, blah, blah. I haven’t seen him since October. It’s now March. The whole “I’ll text message you but not actually commit to anything” thing was getting on my nerves.  And then this happened:

Douchebag (group text message to me and 3 other phone numbers):
Happy St Patty’s Day Babe!!

Me (to group):
Ummm, you do realize that you sent that to multiple people, right?

Douchebag (to group):
Haha yeah Hun 🙂
Doing anything for St Patty’s?

Me (to group):
It’s not funny

Douchebag (to group):
What do you mean Hun? I refer to all my friends who are girls by Hun if that is what you are referring to. I think you have me misunderstood.

Confused girl (to me):
Hey, this is totally random, but I saw your response on that text thread with Douchebag. I’ve been dating him for a little while and now I’m wondering if I’m not the only one.

Me (to Confused girl):
Sorry. He texts me every week seeing if I want to hang out.

Me (to group):
You’re an ass. Sorry to the girl who thinks you’re dating. Please stop texting me.
And, yes, I’m having a fantastic St. Patty’s day

Confused girl (to me):
Thanks so much, I’m loving your responses on the mass texts. He apparently doesn’t know how to use his new iPhone.

Me (to Confused girl):
He’s an asshat.
In all honesty, I haven’t seen him since October, but he texts me all the time.

Confused girl (to me):
That’s kinda creepy. Maybe he should get his eyes checked and realize he texted all of us at once LOL

Me (to Confused girl):
I think he has no idea

Douchebag (to group):
I’m sorry you feel that way. Just so you know, you’ve completely misunderstood me. Thanks for making assumptions.

Me (to group):
You know everyone you sent this to can see that, right? All the numbers you texted? And all the responses?

Douchebag (to group):
Good for you

Me (to group):
I didn’t do it

Douchebag (to me):
I just want you to realize that you made an assumption that made you look like an ass. Great job.

Me (to Douchebag):
Nope. You look like one. Have a great day.

Douchebag (to me):
Good riddance

Confused girl (to group):
Yeah, we all know that you texted three different girls the same thing. And we can see all of the responses.

Douchebag (to group):

And that’s where it ended.  I have since received two very apologetic text messages from Douchebag about his selfishness, actions, and his desire to meet up so he can explain things to me.  Yeah, that’s not going to happen.  And now I know why he was always so busy.  I’m sure dating multiple girls at the same time can get stressful.

The moral of this story: never send group text messages. It can get ugly.  Also, boys can be jerks.

Song of the day: The Dirty Glass by Dropkick Murphys

One Response to “So, this happened…”


  1. What the What??? | I Thought You Were Shorter - November 25, 2013

    […] remembers Douchebag, right? I certainly do, but I haven’t thought about him since oh, I don’t know, March […]

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